I still think about you....

As my baby lies sleeping across the hall, I can't help but think about the ones going to bed tonight without a bedtime story and a kiss.
As we looked through hundreds (I'm serious....) of clothing options for the first day of school tomorrow, I think back to a time when my boy was dressed from a pile of unisex clothes that felt as if they were laundered in lye soap and bleach. I think about the mismatched, dirty little ones that will itch and scratch their way though another day tomorrow.
As we thought about footwear options, I think about the shoes he shared with dozens of other children that were two sizes too small and caused his toenails, to this day, to curve under like tallons. I think of the kids left behind that might get to wear shoes today if they are the first to be dressed.
I think about the ones that will sit silently at a table for hours while my boy is a world away receiving a top notch education by a team of experts.
I prepared his lunch- whole grain this, organic that. Fresh fruit. I think about the ones that will eat watered down soup tomorrow, if they are fortunate enough to eat at all. I think about the ones that will fight for food, just like I saw my boy do, just to stay alive.
As I send my boy off to his first day of Kindergarten tomorrow with more than a backpack full of hopes for his future, equipping him the very best way I can as a parent, my mind drifts to those that have no one to advocate for them, no one to cheer them on, not a soul looking out for their best interest. For all those left behind.
I am asking you for a favor. Say a prayer for them tonight. Pray for the million orphans in Russia alone that have a little to no chance of ever being adopted. That the ban on adoptions would dissolve. That the pride of men would crumble. For the 300 US parents NOT sending their kids to school tomorrow because they are trapped in a living nightmare of red tape, political ambition and foolish pride.
Maybe a bigger favor, consider adoption. Don't make excuses. Don't say I'm too old, my kids won't "adjust" to having another sibling in the family, I don't have the money, I don't want to take the risk. I want kids of "my own". Well, they might have too many "problems"....Carry too much "baggage"..... The list goes on and on. I know because I told myself the same thing for years. Just put all that aside. Adoption is perfect love, and perfect love drowns out fear.
It will change you forever. You'll want to tell everyone you know about the joy of adoption. But along with that joy, comes a responsibility to tell everyone you know about the ones left behind. The ones that want nothing more than a family of their own. People that vow to never forget their faces, that minds drift back to their cribs all in a row, their hungry eyes, still hear their voices crying "Mama! Papa!" every time you walked into their sterile room. I will never forget you.
As I send my baby off to school tomorrow I will say a prayer for you too.

Don't ever move.

I have a VERY good reason why I took a week of from blog world last week. I honestly didn't know it was Sunday. My days, nights, months were honestly scrambled into a jumbled mess between state lines, houses being packed and unpacked, kids being shuttled, and dogs being chauffeured.

Tuesday July 30th- 189 miles and my sanity. Sat in the health department ALL day long. I thought I was ahead of the game having the boys physicals before we left home, turns out our new state requires fancy pants forms and a couple of additional vaccinations. So, I actually set an appointment a month in advance to ease the typical "pain in the @$$ness" usually associated with the Health Department. I was wrong. After four hours I was about to loose my mind and had to show out and steal drinks for my kids who were dying of dehydration.The good news was at the end of the visit we didn't have to pay because there was literally not a soul left in the Health Department other than the incompetent nurse giving the vaccine (that kept asking Jack, 19 months, where he wanted his shot....) and the cleaning crew. My parents are keeping the boys and the dogs for a few days because they love me :)

Wednesday July 31st- 389 miles starting at 5am. Left for SC to pack up our house. We drove and got there around lunch time. I realized just then and there how much stuff I said "Oh, I'll pack this in August when we return" was left in the house. Thank goodness about 20-25 people showed up to help out. We actually had 98% of the house packed by that night. It made me so sad to leave our house and our friends again. But I know this is the next step in our journey, but it was still a bittersweet, physically and emotionally taxing day.

Thursday August 1st. 389 miles and my good humor. As we were packing the last of our house in the SECOND u-haul. We realized that the key to the first U-haul had been mistakenly packed into the truck (don't ask....) Luckily, I vaguely remembered a box that seemed to be accumulating A LOT of misc. items. One of our friends, who is apparently part monkey climbed through the Tetris stacked boxes and found the key inside the box. It was a miracle and after I regained my good humor we said goodbye to the empty house :( and hit the road.

Friday August 2nd. No miles. Thank the Lord. We did however, brave the 100 degree heat and started unloading the truck with significantly less helpers. Thank goodness for Robbin, JT, Sam, and Pastor Jeff. I think we would have run out of steam without them.

Saturday August 3rd. Unpacking boxes from sun up to sun down. This rental house is a like a doll house. Getting creative in stuffing, stacking, sorting. If you've never lived in a 1000 square foot house with two adults, two kids, and two dogs I highly recommend it. Its an exercise in creativity and character building. It allows you to get rid of the stuff you thought you couldn't live without. I took at my closet and think "did people in the 50s just not have any clothes?" I honestly think they rotated between like 6 outfits.

Sunday August 4th. 189 miles again. Go home to my parents to pack up part two.

Monday August 5th. Ikea to buy some storage solutions for my dollhouse.

Tuesday August 6th. 189 miles AGAIN. Load the kids, the dogs, the stuff into the car and repeat the whole darn thing.

Wednesday August 7th- What day is it? Setting up my doll house and making the kids feel at home. Running errands to Charlie's school, my school, here, there and everywhere. Lost track of miles, but I think I'm clocked in at roughly 1,389 miles, an endless amount of boxes and tons of fun (sarcasm). I think we are getting settled in. NOW we're getting geared up for work (boooooo) and school. I can't believe how fast summer has flown by.

My advice to you? Don't ever move. Especially in the dog days of summer.
So, sorry I missed you last week, but I'll see you next Sunday now that my head has stopped spinning and my feet are planted firmly on the ground.

Friends :)

I've heard it said that a friend is born in times of adversity. I'm fairly certain this quote is from the Bible, but it's late and I'm too tired to google. If you came here for accuracy, you obviously are new here and I'm sorry you've been misinformed about the content of this blog.
Anyway, friends. This week I've been thinking a lot about friendship- I always get nostalgic when I spend time with my very first and best friend, Kathleen, which I got to do this week. It's always a special time. Here is an especially blurry photograph of the two of us circa 1984. Please note my ears and the height difference between us, both of which continue to be an issue to this day....She was always by partner in crime, shoulder to cry on, and first rate secret keeper. Fast forward 30 (gasp, I totally typed "20" and then had to do the math...) years and she is an amazing mom to two incredible, bright girls and one precious special needs son. I love her for her devotion to her family and her unwavering faith in God. I am always in awe of her every time we are together. 
Then, my little sister got engaged (!!!!) and ask me to be her Maid of Honor. Technically, I suppose I am a "Matron" but I despise that word as much as the word "Mucus". We were talking about the evening up of the bridal party numbers ie: he has 5 good friends, she has 6 or vice-verse. And I said "With the wedding being a year away, what if you become really close friends with someone you didn't already ask to be in the wedding?" She looked at me as if that was an impossibility. After all, what difference could a year make as far as your lifelong friends go? A lot my friend, a lot.
When we were in the deepest valley of adoption woes (The most hopeless being around the fall of 2010 when we were told to "move on" by our agency, that Charlie was never coming home...like in this entry HERE) I met a wonderful, kind soul that was walking through a darker adoption valley than we were. I won't go into details, because her story is just that- hers, but I can tell you, that we spent many a night talking, crying, cussing Russian officials together. We were friends born out of a time of adversity. But both of our stories had a happy ending and I cannot express to you the joy I felt Skyping with her from the hotel lobby in Moscow with Charlie in tow. I will never forget that night. She was leaving in a few weeks to meet her son and we had finally won the fight. If that night was a book, that would have been the end of a long and painful chapter and the beginning of a part with the happy ending.
This week I had the honor of meeting her and her son face to face along with some other new friends that had braved the roller coaster of Russian adoption. What an amazing feeling. We went to Magic Kingdom to celebrate and being the sappy nostalgic individuals that we are, we had the boys throw their pennies in the water right at the Russian part of "Its a Small World" Awwww....priceless. I wish I could show you their faces (I have MUCH better pictures than this, but since these aren't my kids, I want to protect their privacy.) It was a day I'll never forget.

My prayer for my boys is as they grow they will always be proud of where they came from. I hope that they will find true friends along the way that stick with them in the times of adversity. It is my hope for them that they will surround themselves with people that love them, are encouraged by their strength and make them into better people. I hope they they will have true friends like I have found.

Beachy....

There is something about the beach...Isak Dinesen says the cure for everything is salt water- tears, sweat, or the ocean. We had a few tears, a lot of sweat and plenty of ocean. So after this week we should be cured of pretty much everything.
Put either boys in the water and get ready for a show. They are part fish. Jumping, diving, underwater extravaganza.
Being with these boys in the water makes me remember I am alive and relatively carefree. To watch them run, dance, swim is pure joy. I think back to a little boy in a cold orphanage with skin so translucent you could see every vein. To see the same boy now is a picture of health and vitality. I think of Jack and what a tiny little baby he was just a short time ago. Now, he's a strong (physically and strong willed....) toddler that can do practically anything his big brother can do. I just can't wait to see these boys grow up in the sun!

The 4th is the new Thanksgiving.

You've heard that grey is the new black? Pink is the new grey? Well in our household, the 4th of July is the new Thanksgiving.
Maybe its a mom thing, but I'm leaning more towards an adoption thing, but there is something about little celebrations that make me feel a little sappy. During these holidays and experiences, I can't help but think about what Charlie's life would have looked like without our country, traditions- surrounded by family.
The fourth of July is a big sappy day for me. I've always felt so privileged to be an American. I am humbled to live in a country with so much freedom. When the 4th rolls around I can't wait to tell Charlie about why we are celebrating. He just wants to light things on fire- but I sneak in as much in 1776 as possible.....
I can't help but think about what his life in an orphanage would have looked like. Holidays always make me think about the what-ifs....
On the 4th of July I am so thankful that my boy is free. As for Jack, at this point, he is just thankful for the swimming pool.
I hope your 4th was fantastic and you had plenty of reasons to feel thankful.

My fishy boy....

Underwater Charlie 

Seven cousins :)

Mouse Obsessed!

Upon moving to Florida, my number one priority was to establish Florida residency in order to obtain a Disney annual pass. Hahaha! Seriously, I am addicted to Disney World. I have a problem. Step one is admitting you have a problem, so there. I have a problem. I knew it I had passed my problem onto Jack because whenever we get into the car he would start shouting "MOUSE! MOUSE!" Imagine the confusion this causes in the middle of the grocery store or the post office. "Ohhh.he's so cute, what is he shouting??" And Charlie? We not longer need a map at any of the parks. He grabs one for good measure as he marches through the crowd acting as our official tour guide. His standard line? "Ok, what are we going to do next?"

I try to go out there with my parents, my in-laws or my friend at least twice a week. Once I got so desperate for a fix I went out alone. I never saw another single person with a stroller, an 18 month and a five year old the whole time I was there. And now I know there is a reason for that. People don't really care that you're holding a baby the size of a frozen jumbo turkey and the hand of a hyper 5 year old while trying to make your way through the crowd. They will run you down and kick you out of the way just to get one row in front of you for the show.

So, this summer, we are enjoying the tourist scene and we know these days are coming to a close sooner rather than later :( I've started to apply for jobs in our new hometown and I guess the real world is quickly approaching. And that makes me want to throw up. But for now we are going to Disney World!

Charlie scratching Pluto's nose, making him thump his foot. So cute! 

Jack meets the Mouse for the first time

Dumbo!

In the shark's belly at the Living Seas

Charlie with his pals Cypress and Bliss! I love these girls!

Brushing the pig at Animal Kingdom

Three little pigs!

Happy Father's Day!

Lets set this up. I've been sooo sick this week with what appeared to be the blublonick plague. (Just kidding, but it sure felt that way...) I had resigned to the fact that there was no way I was going to be able to drag my sorry sick butt to Jacksonville this weekend for Father's Day and hear Chad preach on Sunday. But then my parents came to the rescue, got a hotel room on the beach and drug it for me! Yipppeeee. So today has been a great day! Church, beach, dinner with family and extended family. The works. Just a perfect day.
This morning Chad preached from John 3:16. The most basic building block of the Christian faith, but with a personal application. The amazing story of Charlie's adoption from Russia. Of course we talked about the trials and tribulations of our journey and the year long battle after we had met him to get him home. But, all that aside, a personal glimpse of a story inside a story- When we arrived we expected a little 2 year old boy (and later a 3 year old boy) to drop everything and run into our arms the second we met. For him to instantly know that we would have gone to the ends of the earth (and literally did....) to save him. To hold him. To love him forever. But, Charlie, being the strong willed, frightened and obstinate little boy wanted nothing to do with us. He cried. He pitched a fit. He rocked himself in the corner. For goodness sake- he peed on me not once, but twice to get away from me and go back to the only family he has ever known. He rejected us, over and over again.
You see when God sent his son into the world to save us, we rejected him. We spit in his face. We mocked him and still do. We run from him. And all he wants to do is love us. And save us. He has set us apart and adopted us into his family. And he loves us so much he would go beyond the ends of the earth to show his never ending love. Adoption is redemption. Heavenly, earthly or otherwise, our lives have been made meaningful by our adoption story. I was so honored to be there today to hear our story again, with fresh ears and fresh tears.
I am so thankful for Chad and the father he is to our boys. I don't take for granted for one second that other families are not as fortunate as we are to have a Godly, kind, understanding man as the head of the family. I am thankful for my daddy who has been a example of hard work and dedication to our family for so long. I am thankful for my father-in-law, JR who is an amazing man of God and loves my boys so much. I am blessed to have a bonus dad, Rick who is kind, compassionate and thoughtful beyond measure.
I hope you had a wonderful day remembering or honoring your dads and those that are like a dad to you! Toodles till next Sunday!

Saying Cheeese at the Rainforest Cafe 

Riding Cinderella's Horse at Ft. Wilderness, Disney