Monday, April 19, 2010

What should I be doing?

What should I be doing right now? That is the million dollar question. On Saturday we bought him a pair of shoes. Now I'm thinking we should take them back. Should we get a bigger size or just wait until we see him again to buy shoes, or maybe I should just hang it up and stop? I know buying things is not what it's all about. I just wanted you to think about how this has rocked our world, robbed us of our joy, and made ever single decision we have to make (even the simple ones, like shoe size) into something that is painful and ridiculous. I had my first baby shower on Tuesday, a day that I have waited for for 10 years. Something I thought would never happen to me. It was a happy day, but still clouded with the "what ifs" and tears with some of my church mothers in my small group.
And now the volcano. The team of people going over to iron everything out are stranded in Canada due to the volcanic ash blowing all over the northern hemisphere. What is happening? Dear people that we've met along the way are on pins and needles in Russia, hoping they can come home with their daughter. Another couple are flying out to meet their son for the first time this week filled with fear and dread, and yet another with court in our very region that are waylaid somewhere due to the ash, their future feeling dismal. All this because of one stupid woman. And one stupid volcano.
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. This last week has been....I can't even begin to tell you. There are no words. I thought waiting for a referral was the hardest part. I had no idea how wrong I was.

Here is an article from CNN. It sounds a little better? I think? I don't know. Only God knows and we are trying our best to remain positive and patient.:

A meeting between U.S. and Russian officials over the newly charged issue of American adoptions of Russian children, scheduled for Monday, will likely be delayed, officials in both countries signaled Saturday.

The U.S. delegation is delayed in getting to Moscow because of flight disruptions due to an ash cloud from an Icelandic volcano. The ash has triggered the cancellation of thousands of international flights in recent days.

"The party is holding in Toronto (Canada) due to flight disruptions," State Department spokesman Darby Holladay told CNN on Saturday. "Like many, they await resumption of air travel."

Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak told CNN earlier Saturday that "technical problems seem to be standing in the way from (U.S. officials) coming to Moscow tomorrow or the day after tomorrow."

The State Department had announced the meeting on Friday.

Moscow has sent mixed signals on adoptions recently, following the uproar over a Tennessee woman sending home a 7-year-old Russian boy she had adopted.

Kislyak said that U.S. and Russian officials are continuing talks on the matter and sounded upbeat about progress. "We are getting signals from our American colleagues that they understand the issue needs to be dealt with," he said.

A Russian Foreign Ministry spokesman announced Thursday that Moscow had put an end to the adoption of children by American families until rules covering them can be hashed out with U.S. officials.

"Further adoptions of Russian children by the American citizens, which at present has been suspended, will only be possible in case such an agreement is reached," said the spokesman, Andrei Nesterenko.

But Kislyak appeared to soften that line on Saturday. Asked whether adoptions by Americans are currently frozen, he said that "adoption is a process by each and every kid and it takes time. So we'll see how things will develop."

"We're insisting on freezing this unless we have a legal framework negotiated with the United States that provides protection for the people," Kislyak said.

On Friday, State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley seemed unsure about the state of adoptions from Russia.

"I don't think the system has stopped," Crowley said. "It is very possible the system is slowing down as we work through these issues."

Crowley had said that a U.S. delegation from State and the Department of Homeland Security would travel to Moscow this weekend to meet Russian officials on Monday.

Officials at private U.S. adoption agencies say families trying to adopt Russian children are deeply concerned by the current uncertainty. Janice Goldwater, who runs a Silver Spring, Maryland, agency called Adoptions Together, said she is working with two dozen families trying to finalize Russian adoptions.

"I know families that were about to get on an airplane, have court dates scheduled, and they don't know if they should be crying, or dancing with relief," Goldwater told CNN in a telephone interview. "What should I do, should I be finishing the nursery, getting the toddler toys or should I be keeping myself safe and protected by doing nothing?

"So it is a very difficult time for families," Goldwater said.

On Friday, the United States said some U.S. adoptions were still being acted on in Russia.

"There are cases that are still moving forward. There are cases that have been postponed. Does this represent a blanket suspension - the answer is 'no,'" Crowley said at his Friday afternoon briefing.

"Does this mean there could be some instances where cases are held up for a period of time as we try to clarify what's happening and see if we can strengthen the processes that are in place - yes, there well may be delays," Crowley said.

"The Russians have mentioned to us they want to reach a bilateral agreement, Crowley said. "We share the same objective to find improved ways to process these adoptions while making sure these adoptions move forward so we will see what this meeting produces next week."

– CNN's Jeff Simon and Charley Keyes contributed to this report.


  1. we will all have "stranger than fiction" stories to tell our babies when they grow up, about what lengths we went to in order to bring them home! thinking of you,

  2. I am still waiting to travel on trip one, and I'm a mess, so I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm trying my best to stay hopeful...and I'm sure you are too. Mostly just wanted to let you know that you have people you don't even know out here thinking about you.

    I like Amy's note - it really is stranger than fiction. What stories we'll all have to tell.

  3. God knows what is going on -- you guys know that. Keep the faith that things will work out the way that he intends them to.

  4. Keep you chin up and move forward expecting God to do BIG things...just like He always does! He can move mountains...and the volcano as well (lol).

    Go buy more shoes! and don't forget to give God all the praise when everything works out!!!

  5. Among all the up and downs, I know we serve a mighty God. He is able, even when we are not. I know that the waiting & the roller coaster of emotions is crazy for you. But, remember OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD. He is taking care of your Little Man right now. I'm glad I got to help buy shoes this weekend (& other goodies, hehe) and I'm sure we will be buying more soon. Now how about that new bed for him???? I love you, Momma!

  6. I have been following your blog since I saw recently you are in the same region where our son was born. I can say from experience the "in between time" was the hardest for us. I recall thinking it should have been the happiest time, and it was happy, but it was the time most frought with worry. But what does worry get you? More worry... I say go out and enjoy this time. Sit in a rocking chair in his room and listen to lullabyes imagining what it will be like when he is home.

    I know my opinion probably doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but in my heart of hearts I do not believe international adoptions from Russia will be shut down permanently. There may be more requirements and restrictions placed on international adoptive families and there may be less children available for adoption due to Russian domestic incentives to adopt, but I don't see it stoppping all international adoptions.

  7. Your son is counting on you to remain strong! He isn't giving up on you (his mommy) don't give up on him! Be a warrior of God... stand strong.. God wouldn't have let you fall in love with your son face to face if it wasn't meant to be. There may be more forms, slight delays, more medical or more psycho analysis... but... it will happen. Be strong for Charlie! Don't take his shoes back.... he's waiting for them. :)

  8. My prayers are with you. We adopted our son, Matthew from Novokuznetsk (Kemorovo Region) last year. I know that even during "normal" times that this period is hard. We had already had our first visit when Russia invaded Georgia. I sat staring at CNN, crying and thinking I was having a very bad dream. I just knew that we would not be able to travel safely with war going on. I got so stressed that I got shingles! God is good and everything worked out for the best in His time, not ours! We have the most wonderful little boy! I know you will too one day soon. May God bless you and keep you in His care.