Hmmmm.......

When we enter our house, I take the garage (via keypad) and Chad always chooses the front door. I really don't know why. I guess it's a personal preference.
Well Wednesday night I was on the computer and Chad comes in through the front door. "You expecting a package from UPS?" "Uhhhh (scanning my mind....I bought the European surge protector to take with us on our travels the day before, but unless they have MAGICIANS working there, that's way too fast) Sarah "Uhhh...no." Chad: "We'll it's from our agency" Hmmmmm......
I've told you before we've been getting "overage" checks when people donate to our adoption now. This goes into our travel account. But they just come in the regular mail. Hmmmm.....
We open it up and it's a money order from them and travel instructions. (Emergency contact numbers, how much to tip, which airport to fly into, etc.) Hmmmmmm.....
No cover letter. Hmmmmm......
Chad makes the observation "the only reason people send money orders is when you don't have time for a check to clear the bank." Hmmmmmm.....
Even though it's late I send our agency a "Do you know something we don't know e-mail" I can't fall asleep that night. What if they got a referral for us and our case manager ordered the "package" to go out from a different department and it just got here quicker than word got to us?" "What if this means we will be traveling, like in 10 days?" Oh my gosh. I have so much to do....
The next day I wait for a reply to my friendly "I promise I'm not annoying email." But WHAT IS GOING ON? Why would you send this now if you didn't know something we didn't know? I mentioned it to my friend Michele. She flips out. "WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED THEM!?!?!" Well because I have clients and hate it when they don't believe me when I say "the SECOND I know ANYTHING I will call you." I know our agency wants us to get a referral as much as we want a referral. Well, maybe not, but I'm sure they love telling people they have a baby as much as I love telling people we've got a settlement offer in their case. Everyone likes being the bearer of good news.
So I negotiate with Michele that if I don't hear something by 2:45 I will call.
I e-mail a friend with our same agency. She says they got one too. She thinks AFTER they got a referral.Hmmmm.....
All day long I have butterflies in my tummy. My phone that is now connected to my hip pocket on vibrate has been placed on full volume. I obsessively check my email every 5 minutes.
FINALLY it's 2:45. I place the call. It all builds to this moment........
They haven't heard anything. They HOPE it will be very soon. They don't want to get our hopes up. The money order must be cashed and hand delivered to our facilitator in Russia upon arrival. The travel instructions are well, instructions. She says that most of the time they send that package after you get a referral. So I ask "Why now?". Well, we just want you to be ready.
Is that a code, what am I getting ready for? Like how ready? Like pull the suitcases from the attic ready? Or like where I've lived for the last year, on the verge of ready. Sleeping with one eye open. Grabbing my phone the second it rings kinda ready? There are so many different degrees of ready. I guess I am to be more ready than I was before?
So we leave it on that note. Two words people "Cover letter" that would take a lot of the mystery out of a money order and a cryptic list of 14 digit phone numbers.
Cover letter.

Hmmmm.....

O.K. so as you know we receive bulk “updates” monthly about the adoption, the pulse of Russian adoptions to be more specific, and the general status of families coming home/ potential slow downs, etc. Well, as you know we’ve gotten some scary updates (right in the beginning, like 2 days after we turned in our paperwork) and some happy updates “things are going great!” “kids are coming home!” updates. The last few have been very positive- people coming home, people traveling, people getting referrals.

Well my mom called me last week (you know the adoption guru that reads all of your blogs and keeps me up to date on the most current goings ons...) She reads like every adoption blog including our agency blog, and also periodically checks their website too. (I don't even do that!) She said- did you know your agency isn't taking any more Russia applications for new families? What? I didn't know that at all! So I went online and sure enough- there was a little note on the Russia page. It said they were temporarily not accepting new applications due to recent slow downs and to better serve the families already registered and waiting. On one hand I want to think- that is very responsible of them to not "bite off more than they can chew" and to focus on, well ME! But in the back of my mind, I am stressing out a little. It just hasn't set right with me. Maybe I am just paranoid. But if things are really going so well, then why stop? It feels like when Guatemala shut their doors (or their doors were shut) I'm not really sure which.....but either way, it just makes me feel nervous. Why wasn't this information in our latest update?

Just wanted to see what you thought about that.....Am I reading into that little paragraph too much?

P.S.- And have you noticed my fish (Feed my Fish!) have died or disappeared or something? Maybe it's my paranoia. Maybe "they" got them! Ha Ha Ha! Aren't you glad I can make fun of myself? It's truly an art.

January 15th??

Thought you might enjoy my fortune cookie I got tonight....

Things that make you go Hmmmm......

Weird!

O.K. I don't know what's up with blogger. You may have noticed two things. One- the post I made last night ended up looking like binary code. I'm not sure about what happened there. The now deleted post basically said my second weird point you observant/obsessed (like me) types may have noticed:

Our blog counter jumped from 9,000 hits to close to 12,000 hits almost overnight. Two possible but unlikely explanations for this conundrum:

One: You like me, you really, really like me.

Two: I used some hot catch word (Julie and Julia? Fall? Autumn? Comfort Sport Car seat? that started popping up on Google searches

Three: The little mouse that runs around the wheel to make the ticker tick worked overtime and kept running....and running....and running.

Four: Chad said he put an update in our church bulletin with our blog address on it. But 3,000 hits in less than 24 hours? Hmmm....

I think we'll file this one under "mystery" But hello! If I've made 3,000 new friends!

This weekend was insano. I made a ton of cake squares for Frances' Wedding Shower today- thought you might want to see them, so I'll attach a picture. It was almost a cake disaster- the cake I made (buttermilk spice cake with cinnamon butter cream frosting) sure did taste good, but started a revolt when being cut into squares. It was super moist (almost gooey) it was crumbly too. At some point I was standing in my kitchen in my pajamas (because I didn't want to get cake/icing on the clothes I wore to church and had to put back on to go to the shower) It was 12:15. I had to leave the house in 20 minutes. I had icing everywhere. Alex was standing under my feet having an all you can eat buffet at the crumbs falling on the floor. I was literally talking myself up- "O.K. Sarah you can do this. But these look BAD. We need to think of a better way to do this. You need to just relax a little and take your time" If someone walked in my house they would have had me committed. I made it to the shower- 10 minutes late but with cake squares as promised. Next time I am making cupcakes. Something that is BAKED in the container it comes in. It was just unnatural to get pieces of cake in a paper and iced and then placed in a box. Too much to ask.

Well, you live and learn I suppose. And I KNOW next weekend I will be making everything on Friday night for the sweet 16 cake for Saturday. Novice cake decorating and pressure DO NOT MIX.

Baby Deetz

Sometimes we subliminally get a picture in our head that just sticks with us, that picture becomes our compass until reality becomes known. Say, for instance, Baby Deetz. We don’t know for sure if they are a boy or a girl. I’ll let you in on a secret- We have been told (by reliable sources) that by us saying “we have no gender preference” that means most likely we will be matched with a boy, because the majority of adoptive parents request girls and for other various reasons concerning Russian culture that to be honest with you, we have no idea if they are accurate or not. But still- the second we paint that room baby blue- you know what will happen! I can see us rushing to the store the day before we travel to buy some bubblegum pink to cover it up….

We have no idea about how old they will be, we’ve said newborn to two years old is an acceptable age range. Reliable sources also tell us that the minimum age is 9 months in Russia, because the children must remain on an “In-Country Waiting List” for 9 months prior to being available to outside adoption. That being said, we know of a family that adopted a 4 month old from Russia. Even though I think she was closer to 6 months old when they brought her home, the orphanage/government kept saying “Ohh…she’s too young for you to take her!” yet, she was placed with them anyway! 6 months to 24 months is a huge gap in age and development, it’s really like apples and oranges…..

It’s interesting to me how sometimes with the unknown, consciously we see a blank canvas and start filling in the blanks as information is presented- a little here, a little there. When people ask me about specifics when it comes to the baby, I just say what I just wrote. Basically- we have no idea! In my minds eye though, I picture a darling blonde toddler boy~ He knows how to walk, he babbles in Russian, but is learning some English words- “mama” “dada” “book”. I look in my rear view mirror and there he is sitting in his car seat playing with a toy car! He has a mischievous personality and a grin to match…. Sometimes I picture a little toddler girl with dark ringlet curls and alabaster skin who loves Disney Princesses as much as I do. People sometimes stop us in the store and say “Ohh! She looks just like you!” I just smile and nod and say thank you. Sunday night though, I had a dream, let me tell you about it…..

I dreamt that I went to baby Deetz crib and there was a TINY newborn baby inside. I was so shocked in my dream that I gasp! This baby is so…..SMALL! What am I going to do with this? The toys I’ve bought are all too grown up, the books are too mature, and the clothes won’t fit for another two years! I’ve bought sippy cups and tiny silverware not bottles! I pick her up out of the crib (yes it was a her!) and walk into the kitchen. I fill a sippy cup with cheerios about half way, throw in like 10 scoops of formula (I read the label to make sure there isn’t too much iron in it, I don’t want to poison her) by this time the baby is screaming in this tiny high pitched wail, so I fill it up with water and start shaking it. I sit down in the chair and start to feed her out of this huge sippy cup. The cup is practically as big as the baby! The whole time I’m feeding her I’m hoping she doesn’t choke on a cheerio. When I woke up, I laid in bed and re-evaluated my image of baby Deetz. This could be a really small baby…..

Part of me wants to blame the crazy vivid dream on the Chinese food I ate too late for dinner. Part of me is thinking it may be God saying- “Only I know what child I have picked for you and you don’t, so stop buying blue things and telling yourself if it’s a girl you’ll just sell them on ebay or at the next consignment sale!” But logically, it’s telling me the dream is based on a recent conversation I had with Chad. I found these cool magnetic strips you hang on the wall that have these giant magnets to display artwork. I told Chad “oohhhh we could hang these like a border in Baby Deetz room and paint the bottom half of the wall with that chalkboard paint, wouldn’t that be cool?” To that he said “don’t you think they’ll eat the chalk?” BINGO. I am picturing a toddler that would love drawing and coloring in chalk all over the walls. Chad is picturing a baby like in my dream that would definitely make a snack out of chalk. I wonder who will be more accurate? Will we be equipped to encompass that broad of an age range? Yikes. Needless to say, we are holding off on the magnetic strips and I will not eat General Tso’s and egg rolls that close to bed time ever again.

P.S.- You can make your own stick family at http://www.freeflashtoys.com/