Thursday, August 12, 2010

Caution...Serious rambling ahead.

When we found out in June we didn't make it in time to catch the Judge before her vacation, in my mind I was clinging to the thought that I just needed to make it to August. August was my great white hope. July 31st was like Christmas Eve, in the morning I would wake to find gifts and treasures untold. August. By then the agreement would be signed, the Judge would return to her post rested and relaxed, the thousands of prayers sent up would somehow soften her heart to us and our little boy waiting for his mama and papa.
August 2nd did not go so well. I thought to myself, ok.....I'm flexible, Rome wasn't built in a day, blah, blah, blah. I need to be patient. (Shouldn't I be an expert in that department by now?) I thought about my desk when I return from vacation, its a mess. I need to give it a few days. Tuesday brought odd e-mails. Wednesday, Thursday, SILENCE. And Friday, our hopes of "August" were gone. News that until an agreement is signed the Judge will not finalize American adoption cases. The small amount of hope I was clinging to was crushed. It's an impossible to describe what we were feeling on Friday. Friday was a very bad day.
In response to my previous post I was inundated with e-mails. I tried most of your suggestions. Before I even wrote that post I e-mailed the Secretary of States office and the embassy. I had spoken with them before when news first broke of Torry Hansen sending her son back. They have asked me to continue to update them as our situation changed (or not), so on Friday I just continued on our correspondence. "Hi we are still stuck, signed anything yet?" Last time they wrote me back immediately and even called me at work to get some more details. This time, silence. I still haven't heard anything from them. In April I contacted all of our congressmen and senators and three contacted me personally. I don't know that any progress with that was made, but it did make me feel better to know that people in a position of power know that Ms. Hansen's actions have had a profound effect on real people. That we have a real son that sits everyday in a real orphanage waiting for his real mama and papa. They gave me an emergency cell phone number to a SOS employee. I decided I will give them a week before call some poor unsuspecting intern and bombard her with information while demanding answers.
I have been given a few email addresses for some adoption gurus. I have wrote them.
I have posted on yahoo message boards and adoption support groups. I have facebooked and used your "friend of friend" contacts. I spent the majority of Saturday and Sunday responding to emails and message boards. I am sorry if I haven't written you back personally, there were ALOT of emails.
And all roads lead to this conclusion= we wait. This decision is out of our hands. There is nothing we can do, nothing our government can do, The only thing left to do is wait and pray.
We have been told that our Judge is attending a conference or training of some sorts in September in Moscow. Our agency said the beginning of September, someone on the "inside" says the 20th. The Judge would like to resume court if she can obtain reassurance in Moscow on the way to proceed. But will it matter if an agreement is not signed? We just don't know. I hate the thought of putting our hope into another little "hope basket" for September as we did for August.
So it's like this: We know by some of your emails that there are a lot of people in worse situations than we are. (I know, can you believe it?) It has opened my eyes to the widespread devastation that this situation has caused. I think my perspective was focused on the families that "made it out" before the bottom fell out. "Why couldn't have we gotten a referral a month earlier?" "I wish our home study would have been finished a month earlier" I think for those of us that didn't "make it out" we feel like sad isolated "woulda, coulda, shouldas". Instead, I wish that we would bind together and pull each other through.
We know that we need your prayers and your support.
 We know that this story will have a positive outcome. Eventually, we'll get a call and all will be right with the world. Until then, we wait and we pray.


  1. Sara and Chad: My heart goes out to you in your wait for this darling boy. I really don't know how it is to wait for an adoptive child. But, I have waited for a biological child that was a month later than the date I had put all my hopes on. Some very similar feelings were evident when I read your blog. I was completely frustrated, disappointed to no end, cried in my doctor's office and begged him to do something. So, please understand that you are in good company of pregnant mommies and daddies everywhere. God is never surprised! I love you! mwah! Lori

  2. We are there with you, at a different stage, but nonetheless, waiting and praying. Keep the faith.

  3. My thoughts and prayers are with you both, and all of the PAP out there. I understand your feelings about your homestudy, and the timing. I feel the same way, I wish we would have had things sent in right away. I knew we should have sent in our 600 the day we signed our contract with our agency. It is sooo hard not to look back, and wish you followed your first instincts. Just know, you have people out here in blog land who are in your corner. Hang in there.

  4. So very sorry. I cannot imagine the wait. I am a frequent reader of your blog.

    I just wanted to tell you that I was thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.

    On a side note and happy one at that, I saw all sorts of adorable Robot stuff at Target (bedding, pictures, pillows, etc...). I immediately thought of you and your Charlie. Here's hoping for September luck!

  5. I join in your efforts with prayer & the hope that your little Charlie will soon be in your arms. I know that God has angles watching over him and that he will be cared for until your arrival. I hope & pray that you have some answers soon! By the would have been Grandpa Harmon's birthday. Love you sooooo much, Momma

  6. Oh Sarah ~ there is nothing I can say to make you feel any better :( I know you are doing "whatever it takes" to bring Charlie home, and this process is just so difficult in so many ways. While you wait, let me know if you want to cook together (I am trying to see how much weight I can gain ~ ha!). Thinking of you...

  7. I haven't written in a while and don't want you to think I have forgotten about you two. Sometimes it's difficult to read your posting and then know what to say. To say "I know what you are going through" doesn't help. The feeling of being so angry you could explode, then being sad and depressed, then falling on your knees humble totally helpless bargaining with God. I've done it all... but in the end when you are rational enough to know that God is in control and soon and very soon "all will be right with the world"... is the only comforting thing that works. Praying Praying Praying for you guys.. and for precious Charlie :) Love Shawn

  8. Praying for you guys and for Charlie. I can only imagine wat you guys are going through. But you are correct- this too, shall end. And on the other side will be a family of 3!

  9. I'm sorry this is happening, but I know you'll fight with your momma-bear heart until you have Charlie home with you.

  10. Being a former youth worker, this post sounds like the beginning to a lesson. (I know you understand that perspective--everything becomes a way to share with the kids.) What would I use to end this? The fact that hopes in August were vain hopes. They were never going to happen. August could not make them happen. Instead, your hopes are in the LORD.

    Jeremiah 17:7-8 - Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit. (NKJV)

    Those hopes WILL bear fruit.

    I know you know this. And, sometimes hearing these things that I knew were so NOT helpful during my 3 1/2 year journey to Lexi. (For me, knowing and feeling were two very different things at times.) But...I felt compelled to share this verse. I HOPE it is encouraging.

    Lifting you up right now! All of you.

  11. The pain is really unbearable - especially after seeing your child. The whole system is so strange, and I mean from our side too. No one seems to care that these children need to be in a home ASAP. I'm not saying the Baby Homes are bad in any way, but they are not a real home. I don't know why everything is so relaxed. It drove me crazy during our 2 1/2 year wait. Hoping you get some great news soon -


  12. Hang in there summer is notoriously slow for Russian adoptions, hopefully once September hit things will pick up. Rachel (first time commenter long time follower :)

  13. Great post - I've been lurking. YOu are so right that some are in worse situations. For instance, our family. We were with WACAP - let me tell you, that's about as bad as it could possibly be. We traveled to Sakhalin the week before you. We had all of our court dossier ready to send to Russia on April 7. We were on it and thought we'd have our son home by end of June. Our agency coordinator promised us she'd do everything in her power to help us get a court date quickly.

    Then Ms. Hanson put her son on a plane and everything fell apart.

    For 6 weeks we waited to hear whether WACAP would get their license back, then we were advised to switch agencies. By then it was June. Our goal then was to have all our court documents redone by end of August and maybe we could have a court date before our child's second birthday in November.

    But wait - we also had to redo our homestudy. We have our home visit next week, then we will hopefully have that in hand by Sept. 7. Now our goal is to have our court documents redone by end of September, and a court date before the end of the year. More realistic is a court date in January. Time keeps slipping away. But we keep on keeping on, because our boy is counting on us.

    And this is what all of us families stuck in this situation are doing. No matter how bad the situation, we all just have to keep on keeping on. Our kids are waiting. We will be brought together. We just have to keep the faith.

    I'll tell you what though. It gives me hope to see families make it through. It helps us believe we will eventually be among them, even if we happen to be on a journey with a few more twists and turns.