Saturday, November 13, 2010

Two steps back....

Instead of moving forward (as many families that started this process up to a year after us.....) we seem to be taking two steps backward. We've received several emails from our agency (so nice and personal, isn't it???) suggesting that we switch regions. I answered the first one and told them exactly where we stood on this issue, as in "NO". We don't care how long it takes, we are waiting this out. Then I just ignored the next few asking us to switch regions and start this process over again, forgetting about Charlie. Well, the last one DEMANDED that I respond to their request for us to switch regions. Well, actually it promised that they would still fight to get Charlie home, but they really want us to register in Volgograd too. That they don't want us to "loose the ability to adopt from Russia" I told them that was fine, but that means I want two children, one of which being Charlie. This is simply not a "horse race" for us, as in "which Russian child will get home first, Pskov vs. Volgograd?". And what exactly does that mean- loose our ability to adopt?? Once again, it's so nice to have your life discussed through an informal email. Ugh. Well the response "as you know we are stopping adoptions from Russia in December 2011." EXCUSE ME? How would I know that?!? That means we need to be register in another region by December 2010 to bring home another child by December 2011, as in not Charlie. And I will NOT see another picture of a sweet little face and wonder day after day what became of all the what ifs if they couldn't come home either. This is one messed up situation we've gotten ourselves into.
Call it a hunch, maybe it's just my terribly jaded experience, but something is fishy. Either this agreement isn't going to be signed anytime soon, even after it's signed maybe the region is closing to Americans, OR maybe what the agreement says doesn't bode well for us. Or maybe a combination of all three. Obviously, we are missing some information.
I feel like we have been put out to pasture. Before, I felt as if we had our agency backing us. Now I feel as if we are all alone in the fight. The more I think about it, the more I want to dig my heals in. I'll say "fine, if you can't bring him home, we'll find someone who can" For the record- our family (and Charlie) is not limited to 12 calendar months. If our agency is, then so be it, but I on the other hand am not tied to their agenda. Since this is a family show, I can't even begin to tell you what I think this is shaping into.
So, we are left with awful questions with no good solutions. If we "give in" and register in another region will they honestly continue to fight 100% for Charlie? Will we fall in love with another little face and be unable to bring him or her home because Charlie's adoption will finally go through? How much more will it cost to bring home two babies? Do we really have it in us to do this all again? Could we ever move on knowing we didn't pour 100% of our efforts into bringing Charlie home? How can this be happening when other regions are carrying on "business as usual"? When are we going to get answers? What is going on with this agreement?
I could go on and on. The only thing I do know is that we are loosing our forward momentum.


  1. This is just horrible! You are such a strong, devoted mother to Charlie already. Just a suggestion... contact another agency that has great standing in Russia and explain your situation. Maybe you'll come across someone willing to help or will at least give you the facts you feel are missing. I get the feeling your agency just wants to make sure you get a child so when they pull out of Russia (due to it being so unstable right now), they know they delivered on their end. Good luck!!

  2. I have been following your blog for so long and am in the process of adoption #3 from Russia right now ( am about to go back to court). I just wanted to say how truly, truly sorry I am about your and Charlie's situation. If I were you I would get on the phone with the head of your agency on Monday am and dicuss the situation. Horribly, It does not sound like they can get Charlie home but maybe a better agency in your region can do that at some point. I would be very hesitant to go with your agency to bring another child home. It seems to me the way they are and have treated you is not how you want an agency to treat you. We are IAG clients and have had 3 very smooth adoptions. IAG believes the treaty is going to be signed in the next few months and they are very well connected. I actually dont know of any IAG adoptions that didnt go well. What if you tried Adopt a child, IAG or EAC to bring home the second child while fighting for Charlie at the same time? I am so sorry you are in this predicament. I am most sorry for poor Charlie and I am hoping and praying for you guys to get some resolution. God Bless and you are in my prayers.

  3. You don't know me and I don't know you. However, we are sisters in Christ and also sisters in the adoption world. Our two children came home from Russia a couple years ago and we are currently waiting on our court date. However, we've only been waiting since September.
    Blessings to you as you continue down this unknown journey.

  4. Hello Chad and Sarah,
    I know you don't know me but I have been following your blog for some time. My husband and I have been through the Russian adoption process twice. While our second adoption in 2009 went fairly smoothly (we did lose our first referral just as we were heading to Moscow on our first trip and ended up traveling blind. Although we had never met our first referral we did feel connected to him and he is in our prayers daily), our first one in 2004 did not. To say the experience was excrutiating doesn't even cover it. I know and understand first hand many of the feelings you are going through. From your postings I can see that you trust in God and have a deep faith. My advice to you is to trust in Him, for He is leading you in the direction you are meant to head in according to His plan. I just wanted you to know that I will continue to keep all of you in my prayers as you have to make a lot of huge decisions in the coming weeks. This horrible situation you have had to endure will make you that much stronger and will lead you to your future child(ren). I know first hand the power of prayer and how important it is to let go and trust even when it seems like the most difficult thing you have to do. I don't usually post on other's blogs but for some reason I just felt the need to send my support to you! Lisa in Arizona

  5. I dont understand all about this but i read alot of blogs on people adopting from reeces rainbow and they adopt faster and you guys seem to be getting the run around..I have heard rumblings in the adoption community about adoptions being shut down very soon ..i just dont understand bigg huggs my heart goes out to you guys..

  6. Sarah,
    I can't believe this is happening - my heart is breaking for you all. I really don't understand what is going on with your agency. I agree with Jeanette - will be happy to share our agency contact information with you if you would like. I'm not sure if they have seen any activity in Pskov since our court date, but they should be able to provide some information. I do know they are still giving out referrals, but they do work in seven regions so that may be going on in the other regions. As for you agency, how in the world they decided to share this news via e-mail is beyond my comprehension. Hopefully you can connect with some high up in the agency and get some answers to your basic questions.

    So many are praying for you and sweet Charlie. God is good, and he does hear our prayers. Hang in there...

  7. Hi Sarah,
    You don't know us either, but we are friends of Jesse and Jen. Anyways, I have been following your blog for awhile as well and wanted to let you know that you are in our prayers. This is such an excruciating process which we know so well. We just completed our third Russian adoption with European Adoption Consultants and everything went smoother than I thought it would through all of the craziness of the Torrie Hansen case. EAC has a really strong presence in Russia and seems to be able to help out adoptive parents when other agencies fail. They are also in a lot of regions in Russia, so it might be worth a try to call them and see if there is anything they can do to help you get Charlie home. Our first experience did not go as planned either, however, the difference was that I always felt like EAC was on our side and doing everything they could to work it out, and in the end, they did. I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so incredibly hard. We are hoping and praying that you get some good news soon. . .

  8. I find it so odd that every region is just so different. It's also ridiculously unfair that your agency suggest "giving up" on Charlie because, by no fault of his own, his process is challenging.
    I have no advice, but I will pray.

  9. Guys, my heart is truly breaking for you. I completely understand how frustrated and angry you are with this whole process. Keeping you and Charlie in my prayers,

  10. My heart is also so heavy for you. As we await news on our court date (just about a month and a half after meeting our boy) I am dying...and all I keep thinking as people say, "relax, it will happen", is YOU.Yes, I think of you guys- and I am scared when I do. I pray for you guys often, and I will continue. Another commenter recommended Adopt-A-Child. Agencies Bethany Christian Services and American World Adoption both partner with Adopt-A-Child over in Russia- they are very very good. I agree- unless your agency does something crazy huge to regain your trust, I wouldn't register in another region through them.'s Sunday morning, so I will be spreading this prayer request to our church family as well...who via my previous updates are already praying. Hang in there. You are a great example of being faithful. Another sistser in Christ, Liz

  11. So sorry to hear that this is going on. I know two families in our agency had to give up their children because after the April event the region froze all adoptions to Americans. I can't say that I know what you are going through, but I will pray that you get Charlie home.

  12. I agree with many of the posters really need to call another agency who works in the region and get another inside scoop of what is going on. I KNOW EAC would help you. Even if they don't work in that region, they would try to do what they could. It couldn't hurt, right?

    I am just so sorry...

  13. We have been asking ourselves a lot of hard questions too. How long do we wait? How hard do we fight? Our agency is also in other regions - but they have not asked us to switch regions. They are very committed to seeing our little girl come home. They do believe that after the agreement is signed in Dec. or Jan., that this judge will start issuing court dates. I have even personally talked with the Executive Director about what would happen if the judge decided not to issue court dates even after the agreement was signed - and she explained exactly how we would proceed.

    I think our willingness to fight is about more than just our children. It's about all those other children in our region waiting for their mommas and daddies to come and get them. If the judge tries to stop American adoptions, it's those children who will pay the ultimate price and I am not willing to let that happen until I've given it all I've got.

    Praying for a miracle - I am so glad I serve a God who can still perform them!!

  14. What are other families with your agency saying?

    What are other families in your region with other agencies saying?

    You're right--it sounds like you need a better fighter on your side. This doesn't feel legit.


  15. Ugh - I don't even know what to say, I feel so terrible for you. This is so wrong in so many ways! I will contact you privately. Thinking of you 3...

  16. I've been saying lots of prayers for your family.
    I could just say ditto to what everyone else has said. I think you should try contacting other agencies. I used the same agency Wendi and Terry used (twice) and would highly recommend them.
    All of you will continue in my prayers. God has a plan for you, even if you don't like the path he's leading you to the end!

  17. I am extremely sorry for your siuation.
    Like the poster above mentioned you need to get more information on your agency particularly ask what regions they can successfully complete an adoption in. If an agency is going to close down a program it means they have lost connections in that country for whatever reason.I hear on Frua and other blogs that other agencies are pulling out of Pskvo.It doesn't sound like this region is receptive to Americans adopting. I do think you have been firm with your agency on your wants hopefully they can
    work hard on your behalf.