Instead of moving forward (as many families that started this process up to a year after us.....) we seem to be taking two steps backward. We've received several emails from our agency (so nice and personal, isn't it???) suggesting that we switch regions. I answered the first one and told them exactly where we stood on this issue, as in "NO". We don't care how long it takes, we are waiting this out. Then I just ignored the next few asking us to switch regions and start this process over again, forgetting about Charlie. Well, the last one DEMANDED that I respond to their request for us to switch regions. Well, actually it promised that they would still fight to get Charlie home, but they really want us to register in Volgograd too. That they don't want us to "loose the ability to adopt from Russia" I told them that was fine, but that means I want two children, one of which being Charlie. This is simply not a "horse race" for us, as in "which Russian child will get home first, Pskov vs. Volgograd?". And what exactly does that mean- loose our ability to adopt?? Once again, it's so nice to have your life discussed through an informal email. Ugh. Well the response "as you know we are stopping adoptions from Russia in December 2011." EXCUSE ME? How would I know that?!? That means we need to be register in another region by December 2010 to bring home another child by December 2011, as in not Charlie. And I will NOT see another picture of a sweet little face and wonder day after day what became of all the what ifs if they couldn't come home either. This is one messed up situation we've gotten ourselves into.
Call it a hunch, maybe it's just my terribly jaded experience, but something is fishy. Either this agreement isn't going to be signed anytime soon, even after it's signed maybe the region is closing to Americans, OR maybe what the agreement says doesn't bode well for us. Or maybe a combination of all three. Obviously, we are missing some information.
I feel like we have been put out to pasture. Before, I felt as if we had our agency backing us. Now I feel as if we are all alone in the fight. The more I think about it, the more I want to dig my heals in. I'll say "fine, if you can't bring him home, we'll find someone who can" For the record- our family (and Charlie) is not limited to 12 calendar months. If our agency is, then so be it, but I on the other hand am not tied to their agenda. Since this is a family show, I can't even begin to tell you what I think this is shaping into.
So, we are left with awful questions with no good solutions. If we "give in" and register in another region will they honestly continue to fight 100% for Charlie? Will we fall in love with another little face and be unable to bring him or her home because Charlie's adoption will finally go through? How much more will it cost to bring home two babies? Do we really have it in us to do this all again? Could we ever move on knowing we didn't pour 100% of our efforts into bringing Charlie home? How can this be happening when other regions are carrying on "business as usual"? When are we going to get answers? What is going on with this agreement?
I could go on and on. The only thing I do know is that we are loosing our forward momentum.