Mommy Brain

It’s funny, of all the adjectives I would have used to describe adoption (emotional, stressful, mysterious) distracting would not have been one of those words, until this week. I mean, it’s nothing new that I think of the adoption in my spare time, when my mind drifts, or in keeping my little mental checklist of “things I need to get done”. But I have found myself distracted from everyday tasks. Example:

Last night I was refilling the kitchen soap dispenser. I have a gallon sized jug of soap (Yeah Sams Club!) and I was filling the fairly large sized pump by the sink. Looking back, I honestly can’t remember the last time I filled it. Anyway, I found my thoughts drifting to “I wonder if the next time I fill this if we’ll have a baby in the house?” Needless to say, when I was doing the math in my head “I bet there are 215 “pumps” of soap in this container. If we use one pump of soap everyday for 215 days, that would mean we would have to finalize the adoption by April 7, 2009.” By this time as you can imagine soap was pouring all down the sides and into the basin because that kind of math makes you look up, kinda up into your brain. I don’t know why people do that.
I was driving home from work this week and stopped at light to wait for a turn arrow. I have sat at this light every afternoon for 3 ½ years. I noticed a sign in the median shrubs that said “Spot of Pride: Adopted by Bank of America” Boom. Adopted. My mind launches into an article I recently read about some woman that was infuriated that we use the word “adopted” to describe it when people “adopt pets” or sponsor a highway garden. I personally don’t mind the usage of the word; I think if I were adopted I won’t be offended if I came across that sign. But to each their own. When you use a word to describe something sacred (i.e.: adopting a child) I can see where some people would get bent out of shape when you use it in causal language (i.e.: I want to save the earth, I am going to adopt a highway) BEEEEP…. “Hey lady move your car! The light’s green!” a man behind me shouted.
Last week I got into the elevator at work, thinking about why kids love to press the buttons on elevators so much. I was thinking about Baby Deetz being tall enough to press the buttons someday. When I realized- I hadn’t pressed the button! I was just standing in there. Waiting for nothing! Earth to me. My friend Carol says I already have “Mommy brain” and it doesn’t ever go away. After you know your child is coming (either by birth or by adoption) it consumes your thoughts in the most peculiar ways.
So if you are talking to me and suddenly see the “glazed donut” look sweep across my face or I bring up our adoption out of the blue in conversation, it’s because adopting, among other adjectives is distracting! It is also all-consuming, wild and crazy, intimidating, empowering, overwhelming, and joyous. And I'm just along for the ride.
P.S.- My spell check has disappeared. Sorry if this is choc' full o' errors!