I came across an article in Adoptive Parents magazine about a mother waiting for her daughter from China. Currently, she had been waiting 18 months, but in the beginning of the process, she was very strict about not making any purchases for “the baby”. Then she was at her alma mater and she bought her a college themed picture book. Well, that started a fury of purchases that would leave her feeling angry at herself for not waiting longer to start buying things.
I obviously do not have that problem. Sometimes the things I buy seem impractical I think, “What if they are too big for this baby swing?” But then the eBay diva kicks right in and says, “Sarah you paid like 25% of retail for this, you can sell it and make your money back plus $10. If it works GREAT, if not- no big deal!” I think of the Consignment Sales at the church and think I would be wasting money if I didn’t get this at such a great deal! I can always re-consign…..
Anyway- I digress…. Someone wrote a comment that basically said “No, no, it’s perfectly normal and it’s your way of preparing for your child to come home!” An interesting idea came up of “Waiting v. Preparation”. Waiting isn’t so bad if you think of it as preparing. Christmas Day wouldn’t be nearly as joyous if you woke up one day and someone said- “Hey- It’s Christmas” You would miss the Christmas Hot Dog (Special Ed Department at our church puts on a play every year and the night before the families and staff are invited to the rehearsal dinner where, you guessed it, hot dogs are served!) You would miss the weather turning cold, the trimming of the trees, the parties, the gift exchanges, the cookies being made, the family and friends you get to see, the 24 hour a day Christmas music on the radio, the candle light service on Christmas Eve. Christmas would be just another day. It wouldn’t be special at all. There is something to be said about the excitement of anticipation.
When is the last time you really prepared for something big and important? Something that would change your life forever? Moving to another state? For your wedding? For a make or break contract at work? For a child? I am reminded that as I prepare for Baby Deetz, someone is preparing for me- "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." – John 14:1-4
I was trying to prepare by learning Russian (fail) and have found that I am better at shopping. I’ll just have to wing it and be silent in a country that doesn’t understand me, and I them. The ABC’s of Russia was also a great preparation for me, because I felt connected to a culture I knew very little about. I think about safety of strollers and car seats. I think about making baby food v. canned food. I think about cloth diapers (that was a very short thought) I think about tiny clothes and shoes and sharp edges on tables. This morning I thought about when we come home from the airport with the baby, how we are going to handle the dogs.
So, I’m not really waiting. I am anticipating and preparing. Sounds better doesn’t it?