Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mothers Day!

Mother's Day has always been bittersweet. Sweet because I am a mama's girl at heart. I love my momma! And I have truly been blessed with a wonderful mom-in-law and step mom-in-law when I married Chad. I am very fortunate in that way to have not one, but three strong, loving, and smart women in my life.
However, Mother's day has always been slightly sad too.... for my mom (and Donna) as my Grandmother and Chad's maternal Grandmother are no longer with us, so naturally, this day is filled with mixed emotions for them too. But also, by not having children. There is always the "Will all the Mother's in the church congregation please stand up?" and the "Happy Mother's Day" greeting from well wishers. I always felt like I wasn't in the Mommy club. This day would always spark the "So when are you and Chad going to have kids of your own?" conversation. That would always end awkwardly.
This year was a little different! I am an expectant mother! It made the day a little easier..... still a little bittersweet though because I have a feeling that our child has already been born and they are sitting, waiting for us.....I can't begin to explain to you what an odd, helpless, and empty feeling that is. Having the feeling that you are already a mother, but just not having any proof.
I got a card from my mom in the mail (cried a little) a card from Donna (cried a little) and a card from Chad (cried a lot). This day would have been so much better if a real little person was here with me! But the whole "mom thing" is beginning to fit a little better. When my mind drifts, I see a little person laughing and running and calling "Mommy look at this!" Then no matter what day it is, that will be my first Mother's day......

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