I spent a considerable amount of time today talking to, texting, and e-mailing home study person, mysterious home study supervisor lady, and the agency. Word on the street has it that our home study "draft" is being re-sent to the agency because of some wording concerning the acceptable/unacceptable health conditions of our adoptive child. It is our understanding that every child in a Russian orphanage has a diagnosis. We have been brainwashed since the beginning of this plight that "Sarah and Chad wish to adopt a child as healthy as possible, but are willing to adopt a child with minor or correctable health issues" To me this statement encompasses a gamut of health diagnosis that are 1-minor, 2-correctable, 3-cosmetic. Right? This rules out down syndrome, heart conditions, muscular dystrophy, the biggies. This leaves, WELL, the minor stuff. Stuff you can treat with creams, antibiotics, and worst case scenario- physical therapy, other types or therapy, and minor surgery. According to our social worker, the agency would like a list of what minor conditions are acceptable. (Cleft palate, cleft lip, heart problems- Are you thinking what I'm thinking- since when is a heart problem minor???) Anyway.... I am so tired. I am just tired. I said no. We won't be making a list. The risk in this is that we may be put on ice in Moscow trying to leave the country with a child that has scabies. Whatever. At this point, that is a risk I am willing to take. It is my understanding that some families have been denied travel home because their home study does not have a role call listed of all the fungus, bacteria, facial imperfections, and/or moles/warts/growths/viruses that a child may have. These families are being "held" in Moscow while their home study is being "revised" to include said fungus, bacteria, facial imperfections, and/or moles/warts/growths/viruses. This costs time and a lot of money. The thing is I wouldn't even know where to start on making a list. I am not a doctor. I just play one on t.v. If this is an issue, why doesn't the agency provide a checklist of medical conditions and have us check them off? And provide us with said list....say...uhhhh 8 weeks ago?
This is where I am. It's been eight weeks since our home study. I am tired. I'm not making a list. I don't have enough medical expertise to make a list. AND I am honestly scared (maybe with a little bit of shallow mixed in) to say "I will except a child with crossed lazy eyes, clubbed foot, and a cleft palate" I hope that doesn't make me sound like a bad person. I just think that medical issues should be evaluated by a doctor once a referral has been made. Then we'll take it one step at a time about what we can handle, financially and emotionally when it comes to our baby's health. Or we can just live in Moscow for a while. I just want to cross the medical issue bridge when I get to it. Dr. Deetz is taking a vacation to the Cayman Islands.
NO- it does not make you a bad person. Most every 'expecting' parent prays for a healthy baby. Hello- that's why we count 10 fingers and toes in ultrasounds. You are just like the rest of us parents. We will be praying for your healthy baby.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely no list.....I can;t believe that they wanted you to do that.....
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